Travelling is always invigorating to me even when the getting ready for it is a little rushed and the preparations take more time than you had planned. Isn’t that they way life is too? We prepare and prepare and plan and plan and then we blink and the whole thing is over.
May 15, 2012
Spring has sprung … There is a silly little poem my dad would always recite in the spring that is running through my head… “The bird is on the wing I heard… but that’s absurd… the wing is on the bird”. That poem intrigued me and it was that kind of play on words that has always caught my interest. It is especially interesting when both phrases are right in their own way.
I was writing something the other day at my new job with Parks Canada and my colleagues read the sentence with the word “work” as a verb and corrected my adjective by adding LY to make it an adverb. I read it again. I had intended “work ” as a noun but it could have been either. Language is so intriguing sometime… simple and complex.
So I am working (verb) for Parks Canada at the Western and Northern Service Centre in Calgary. I am an Informal Conflict Management Advisor. It is a demanding job and will likely become more so as people who need conflict coaching and training and mediation find out that I am there. This first few weeks have been taken up with settling in and become known to the organization as well as getting to know it.
So far I love it. The people are great and the work is exciting. Because I am in a term position, replacing someone on leave for one year I don’t have the luxury of time to get up to speed. I have had to hit the ground running… 8 hours a day…5 days a week. This is new and exciting to me, the entrepreneur who has had control of her time for the last 14 years. I plan to enjoy the ride.
May 3, 2012
My word for the day is vision. Mine is still blurry. Louise Hay would say that there is something I don’t want to see. That is probably true. My eye seems to be recovering very slowly. There is still a significant amount of discomfort and pain so something about my future looks painful to me. Or something about my present is painful to look at. I guess that’s what I need figure out. Once I have my vision for my future clear, I know my vision will respond accordingly. Don’t you love inner work?
May 3, 2012
The chances of getting what we want increase as we get clearer about what it is we want. That is the fundamental power behind goal setting. People are doing something in the only time that they have … the present. Is it the past or the future that fuels their present. It is one or the other but not both. If the past is the focus than change is the objective. If it is the future then it is transformation, fueled by invention and innovation they are seeking. Ignoring the differences between change and transformation can complicate achieving the goals we set for ourselves and the goals that our clients set for themselves. Let’s talk about the different time zones and how to interpret them in goal setting.
May 3, 2012
I had a great conversation this morning with Coleen. She and I are reinventing PULSE with a new business plan and a refreshed focus on on-line learning. Using PULSE as a business plan structure makes it really simple to address even very complex information. First we Prepare for the plan by restating the purpose, the process and the protocol. Then we Uncover the history of PULSE. We identify the thousands of clients we have had over the past 10 years and the hundreds of programs we have developed and delivered. We look at the philosophy, the mission, vision and purpose which have remained consistently focused on Conversations for Change. Then we Learn the criteria that PULSE has for a better future, what’s important to us. Then we search possibilities for that future based on the identified criteria and then explain a plan of action for the renewed and refreshed PULSE Institute.
I am excited to be focused on planning again. I am excited by the possibilities. In 2007 pulse was looking forward to great things but somehow they didn’t happen as planned. The world slowed down and so did we. Now it looks like the world has caught up and it might be the right time to move pulse ahead in a big way. We have downsized and regrouped and now we restructure and repurpose and move again.
April 25, 2012
I’m writing a short note about vulnerability today. Three weeks ago I received an eye injury at a spa. The doctor said that 80 % of my conrea was damaged. My eye is still patched. i can’t drive and only yesterday was told I could use the computer fora couple of hours a day. I have been at home usually flat on my back with my eyes closed while the healing takes place. I am vulnerable. I was vulnerable when I went to the spa and had only one inkling that things were not quite right between members of the staff. I remember thinking..” These peole could use some coaching. They seemed happy with each other but procedures were changing and they all seemed just a little angry or frustrated about it. The person who was going to do my treatment was talking to the one who had treated me before and suddenly there was a change in who I was assigned too. I wondered if it was a commission thing. Any was Number 1 still but the eye covers in and then left. Immediately felt that the left one was uncomfortable but not ever having had the experience before I could only say…”It doesn’t’ feel right”
There were lots of things that could have happened to make the outcome different. many things I could have done and said and some that they could have done or said. Because it was my first time ( and my last) was at a disadvantage.
Any way … the blog is not about that. It is about vulnerability. More precisely about how we accept hte responsibility for a vulnerable other. That is what has fascinated me as I convalesce . I have been rather helpless. It is not a role I enjoy. I have had to depend on other people to meet my needs and have had to find ways to adequately make t6hose needs known. I make assumptions about how to do things and so do they.
How can we anticipate the needs of the vulnerable? How can we honour them while waiting on them?
How do different BEACHs arise when we are most vulnerable and when we are faced with giving or taking care of some else who is vulnerable? What is the difference between care giving and care taking? Which do you do?
April 2, 2012
So. I spent the weekend in Atlantic City New Jersey. We visited some friends we meet in the fall on a cruise and attended a rodeo. It was interesting. It was my first visit to the city where Monopoly started. The Boardwalk is amazing. We rode a chariot pushed by a guy along for quite aways. It was wet and cold and a little run down but the potential for warm summer days and prosperous economy are there. The North Atlantic is fierce in the winter. It pounded that jersey shore yesterday. Today was a little brighter and I could almost imagine Stephanie Plum playing the sleuth in the backyard and alleys in the older parts of town. The hotels and casinos are grand but this is NOT Vegas. It has it’s own unique character like all of us. Thanks for the memories Atlantic City.
March 28, 2012
Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation , Affection and Allowing
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Did you know that we have a Group on linked in??? Neither did I!! I started a discussion on there this morning. I hope you will go and join the group because I was able to create a poll there to see how members use the PULSE Frame. Mediation, Negotiation, Coaching, Planning and other. I am interested on how people use the Frame.
I have been using it more and more as a way to organize my coaching conversations. I also use it to consult on conflict situations for leaders in organizations. It is a great way to get at the past present and future of the situation in a short conversations. I use the guiding questions. I set out the “How” of the conversation, time and protocol then uncover “What is this about?” and I don’t leave the past until I am really clear what we are talking about. Then the question becomes “Why is this important? or What about this is important?” as we learn the BEACHs together. Once the criteria are clear then we start considering options with the question “What could you do?” and then to explain as we set out commitments using “What will you do?”
The other thing that is important in PULSE conversations is the stance. We approach people differently. We hold them capable. David Richo identifies five ‘A’ s for adult relationships. Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection and Allowing. As I read his book I realize that those elements also need to be the underpinning of the PULSE conversation. As practitioners or DELTAs (Detached, Emotionally mature, Loyalty, Trust, Attend) we are invited to become Detached ( not disinterested ). We Allow people to bring their reality without judgement. We are invited to be Emotionally mature… which means we can give Affection without taking sides … we care. Loyal to the process and confident in the ability of the participants to come to a satisfactory conclusion. We Appreciate the skills they bring with them to do just that. Trust that people are doing the best with what they know speaks to Accepting them where they are. And Attend to everything speaks to the Attention that Richo talks about. All of these are important for building relationship and creating the neural link that allows participants to trust the DELTA and the process and to learn to trust each other.
I love it when things seem to fit. Thank you David Richo and Lois for sharing her book with me. Look for “How to be An Adult in Relationship.”
March 15, 2012
A Book Review and other thoughts by Dr. Nancy Love
Posted by Dr. Nancy Love under Uncategorized | Tags: purposes in life |Leave a Comment
I am reading “”Organize your MIND Organize Your LIFE: Train your brain to get more done in less time.” It is a great read especially for we ‘overachievers’ …. Paul Hammerness, MD and Margaret Moore (Coach Meg) offer a compelling approach to the distractions in our lives. They describe frenzy as a combination of anxiety, sadness and anger. They provide insight as to how to calm the mind not just the calendar. “Rules of Order” are outlined … rules that can tame the frenzy, sustain attention; apply the brakes when necessary, mold information, shift mindsets and connect the dots so that we can all stay on top of the fast-changing world that we live in. The book also provides a list of the Top Ten Organizational Complaints with Solutions. I recommend it for coaches to use to de-clutter their own brains and to give to clients as another tool for a more productive life.
The book reminds us that examining our life, what we have and what we do not need is important. De-cluttering is on going. I thought that a spring cleaning was something that was only necessary once a year and every year at this time I am reminded that new growth begins and flourishes when there is room for it to grow. De-cluttering your life is an interesting concept and an even more interesting exercise. What people, places and things are no longer serving me and my purposes in life??? How and when can I recycle them???
And which people do you wish you could hold onto a little longer. Michael Woodbridge, a faithful student, died suddenly in December and I only found out a little while ago. Michael was a conservationist, someone who revered the planet and lived his beliefs. I miss knowing that he is there encouraging me from afar. Maybe he still is…. Thank you, Michael.
March 13, 2012
A person who was attending one of my presentations on goal setting chatted with me afterwards. I mentioned that I was writing this awesome book on the BEACHs – a Sociological Construct for understanding people in the workplace. She said … “I need you to finish that book!” That was good for me to hear. I need me to finish that book too. I am sooo very close. I am hoping to find that 40 hour week that will bring it to manuscript format and I can at the very least publish it on kindle. If I say that out loud here then all of you can hold me to account. Public pressure works for me so please feel free to apply it through email, phone calls etc.
The BEACHs book reveals where people are coming from and how people look at the world … in detail AND how you can hear it in their language. Each BEACH has a rich description of what life is like there, what the language is and how it is used and what the dialect tells you about the people who live there. It is still amazing to me to see that one world, even one situation, can be interpreted in nine different ways … even more ways when you consider the subcultures on each BEACH. 40 Degrees… when the circle is divided into nine you get 40 degrees on each BEACH. Knowing just the differences in language and accents and dialects give PULSE practitioners the advantage of the interpreter.
How often have you heard – “They just don’t understand.” or “I don’t understand what they want from me?” It is related to the languages of the BEACHs and how the same words are used in entirely different ways.
This will be a helpful book. I need to get to work…. Keep those cards and letters coming.
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