PULSE Revival


In just one week I start my new adventure on the Island of St Thomas in the US Virgin Islands.  I am equal measures of excited and anxious.  I look forward to being there, being part of something larger than myself and I am anxious about leaving my very comfortable home and the way of life I have developed over the past few years.  I will be staying on campus at UVI and I anticipate a very steep learning curve over this first month of offering classes and moving the intellectual property of PULSE to its new owners.

Am I ready? My suitcases are packed.  I have my airline bookings and my accommodations are booked.  I have made arrangements to have my apartment looked after.  I have paid my bills and notified everyone who needs to know including my cell phone company.  I have sent the proofs for the manuals for the courses I will teach. I have American money in my wallet.  And I still have a week to say my goodbyes to family and friends and put the finishing touches on the packing and planning for a month in the beautiful Caribbean.

Am I really ready? On the SHIFT scales of well being that I ask others to use I would say that I am still getting ready for this adventure.  SHIFT deals with five scales of well being for a well rounded look at how a person is experiencing the world.  This seemed like a good time for me to take inventory. How Sharp, Happy, Independent, Fit and Trusting am I right now?

The S in SHIFT stands for a Sharp Mind. It measures intellectual well being.  Intellectually I still have work to do to get the clear purposes, protocols and processes in place for me to serve the participants I will face in the next few weeks.  I want to be totally prepared to further their understanding of PULSE and the Attitudes, Skills and Knowledge that PULSE, the Frame, represents.  I have acquired so much information and experience over the years that my mind literally races as I search, sort and select, wondering about what to share during each of the programs and when.  Timing is important for understanding and I know that there will be nine perspectives on the world watching me deliver the programs.  Doing a good job of meeting all of those needs is important to me and my intellectual prowess will be tested as I juggle what I know with what they need to know and when. Even though I know that most of that I will learn in the moment by listening and adjusting as needed, I still feel some panic in this regard.  I think I will need this week to think it all through again a couple of times.

The H in SHIFT is for a Happy Heart. It measures emotional well being.  Emotionally I am not quite ready to go.  I am leaving behind my father who is pretty mobile right now for an 85 year old but who I worry about all of the time. I am leaving my children and grandchildren who will all be very busy with September’s glorious beginnings of school and after school programs, new adventures of their own.  I am leaving behind my friends from curling ( and occasional golf) who may need to replace me more often this year as the adventure unfolds. I am leaving my dear friends that I spend time with in St Albert and at the Lake.  I have created a wonderful network of support here and I know they will be here when I get back but I have never been away for a month before … except when I was in Calgary for 15 years.  I’m sure I will miss them all.  I am also sure I can keep in touch and catch up with things upon my return.

I am also sure that I will meet new friends and be reacquainted with old ones on St Thomas.  The sun and the sea always improve my mood.  There will be lots of reasons to smile and to feel happy as I meet new students and work with them so that they become conflict competent.  I hope to visit my favourite place on earth … the Baths on Virgin Gorda … while I am away and that will feed my smile bank for a long time afterwards.  I will not be less happy while I am away.  I will be happy in a different way and for different reasons.  Nonetheless my happiness scale will fluctuate as it always does.

The I in SHIFT is for Independent Spirit. It measures relational well being and today for me is very closely related to the H – Happiness measure.  I am independent.  I am Oprah in my Talk Show life.  I take charge and make decisions with careful consideration and deliberate thought.  I can also be completely clueless, not willing to ask for or accept the help I need to move to the next step.  I have more alone time than I need right now.  Spending time with “coworkers” and workshop participants is something I have been craving for awhile.  I am really looking forward to working with others and spending time with people again, especially like-minded people with similar goals and aspirations.  At the same time I am cautious because I will be in a new environment where there is a different social contract already established.  I will need to have my wits about me.  I hope to create lasting friendships and collegial (double entendue intended) working relationships in the most mutually agreeable way while maintaining my sense of Independence and self control.

The F in SHIFT stands for Fit Body.  It is a measure of physical well being.  I am never really satisfied with my levels of physical fitness.  Maybe that is because it is something that requires daily attention and takes time away from my intellectual pursuits which I much prefer.  Am I ready physically for this adventure?  I think so.  I have packed the necessities … tooth brush and other  tools for physical hygiene.  Although I will miss my first few tap dancing classes, I did put in a pair of runners just in case a university campus has a fitness facility.  I say that facetiously hoping they don’t and knowing they do.  Any excuse for missing a work out that isn’t tap dancing or curling is worth hoping for in my world.  I am armed with Yoga videos to maintain my flexibility and will TRY to walk everyday and because I will have kitchen facilities I am PLANNING on eating well … not out every night.

The T in SHIFT is for Trusting Soul.  It is a measure of spiritual well being.  Am I ready for this adventure spiritually?  Yes.  Firmly yes.  All roads have lead to this adventure.  At times it does feel beyond my control, that the universe is unfolding and that this will be my legacy.  I am ready for that and willing to work as hard as I can to see that through.  This opportunity is a gift to me that I will not squander.  I am grateful for it.  I intend to work hard to revive the PULSE dream of a world full of people who know how to be gentle and honest with each other, people who can use the tools of mediation to create wonderful relationships, people who recognize each other as whole and complete, where people take the time to honour each other with deep listening and careful consideration of other peoples thoughts, words and deeds in context, where people care about what they say, how they say it and the impact of their words on others. That is my personal vision and mission and this is another vehicle for me to accomplish these things on a larger scale.

 

The adventure begins next week.  Stay tuned for updates.

 

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Continue on your path to UVI-PULSE mediation certification and build valuable skills with these courses coming to the University of the Virgin Islands:

Understanding and Experience PULSE Techniques (Free online events)
Sep. 8 / Webinar: The POWER of Deep Listening
Oct. 14 / Webinar: Listening with HEART
Nov. 12 / Webinar: The PULSE Grid
Dec. 9 / Webinar: PULSE Ways of Knowing

Introduction to Conflict Mediation
Sep. 9-10 I St. Thomas Campus (St. Thomas)
Sep. 15-16 I Albert A. Sheen Campus (St. Croix)

SHIFT
Sep. 11 I St. Thomas Campus (St. Thomas)
Sep. 17 I Albert A. Sheen Campus (St. Croix)

PULSE Conversations for Change
Sep. 21-25 I St. Thomas Campus (St. Thomas)
Nov. 16-20 I Albert A. Sheen Campus (St. Croix)

Advanced Mediation
Nov. 4-10 I St. Thomas Campus (St. Thomas)

UVI-PULSE Professional Train-the-Trainer
Sep. 28-30 I St. Thomas Campus (St. Thomas)

I would like to thank those of you who attended yesterday’s webinar.  It was my first with UVI as a partner.  It was well attended and I think it went well.  I provided a review of PULSE the Frame and the Tetrahedron.  Here’s the link to the recording if you are interested ..PULSE 101 UVI PULSE.

There are so many people that have been following PULSE for a long time and many of those loyal PULSErs were present at the session yesterday.  A special thanks to all of you.

There were also new people attending.  For them the webinar was an introduction to a process that allows you to move with confidence into a difficult conversation.  I hope they got something out of it and that they want to learn more.  We are planning courses in the Virgin Islands for September and I am very excited to be back in that saddle … teaching and training trainers.

The Webinar is the first in a series.  The next on is on August 12th and you can register for it on the UVI Website.  The topic for the next one is GHOST, Gentle, Honest, Open, Specific Talk.  I will be talking about how this protocol sets the appreciative tone that make PULSE work.  There will be one webinar each month for the next year.

On Wednesday morning at 8:00 am Mountain I will be doing my first UVI-PULSE webinar.  I am really hoping you can join me.  The webinar is free and is the first in the series of monthly webinar I will be providing through the University.  If you can’t make it yourself please feel free to share the link with others.  Although I am confident there will be room for everyone, spaces are limited, so let me know if you intend to be there and I will make sure you have a spot.
For this webinar you just have to enter as a guest using the link below.  Future webinars will require you to register through UVI.
LINK:
UVI website for registration: 
For many of you this webinar will be a review of the PULSE Frame and its elements. For some it will be an introduction to the three dimensional nature of conversations.  I am hoping it will serve as an introduction to the thinking that is guiding my book on “Mapping the Space Between Us”.  I am hoping to give everyone a peek into the structure of the PULSE tetrahedron, not just the triangle, to show what makes it strong as well as simple.
It is my first opportunity to work with the UVI in this way, as a partner.  I am very excited by the possibilities ahead of us with this venture. I am also grateful for the support I have had from all of you until now and look forward to what else we can accomplish together.

 

http://pulseinstitute.adobeconnect.com/uvipulse1/

http://www.uvi.edu/administration/president/initiatives/ILOE/pulse/events.aspx

Last week I had a chance to help some people come to agreement on a long-standing issue.  It’s always satisfying when you can see what’s in the way and help them move around or through or over or under what ever that is.  It made me realize a couple of things about practice and mastery and how reading people is essential in this business.  It is not just about reading people and identifying their criteria for resolution but also ready what behaviours are infuriating or frustrating the other people in the room.  So you watch EVERYBODY and you notice your own responses and you name it.  The naming part takes courage but it is really all you have to do.  Finding a gentle way to tell someone that their behaviour is not helping can be tricky but well worth the mental effort it takes to cushion the words and use language you are confident they will understand. When you do SHIFT happens.

I was reminded that the PULSE Frame is very effective.  It is part of my MO now in most situations and in a high conflict one the elements are more obvious and their strong grounding in theory makes them very dependable.  Prepare for the conversation.  Then Uncover what they have come to resolve today.  Then Learn why its important to them, their criteria for resolution. Then Search possibilities that could resolve the situation and meet the shared and individual criteria.  Then write a plan of action that contains detailed items that are within their authority and will be shared with those who are involved in its implementation.  Introducing the process at the beginning … the process, purpose and protocol … and wrapping it up at the end are also important to give everyone confidence in the outcome.

 

PULSE has flat lined.  We will slowly be moving the PULSE intellectual property and website into mothballs.  It is sad but necessary.  All things must end.  PULSE is no different.  It has run its course, training people around the world how to speak and listen to each other in ways that make peaceful productive workplaces and relationships possible.  It has been a great run.

I have had opportunities to work with people in Europe, Africa, the USA, the Caribbean and sometimes even in Canada.  I have learned how difficult it can be to be a profit in your own land.  PULSE has really gained more attention away from Alberta and Canada than it has here.

PULSE is more than a conversation Frame.  It was an Institute that studied People Using Language Skills Effectively.  The client list is impressive and the number of PULSE professionals created over the 13 years of operation gives me hope that PULSE and its teachings will continue.

As a business it has failed.  I take responsibility for that and that is why I have signed the “do not resuscitate” order.  This could turn into confessions of a reluctant entrepreneur but most of you who know me have heard those confessions and don’t really need a recap.

It has been fun and interesting and the BEST part is the people that I have been privileged to meet along the way. We made videos.  We wrote books.  We created learning opportunities in person and on line.  We gave people tools like GHOST and HEART and POWER and more recently BEACHes and SHIFT AND we brought people to resolution … again, and again , and again using the specific techniques embedded in the frame.

I want to thank everyone who has ever participated in any kind of PULSE event and invite you to continue to use any of the tools you learned to resolve issues for yourself and others.  The world needs skilled communicators like you.

I will ask Andrew to send this out as a newsletter to our list on the weekend.  There is a webinar scheduled for December 4th. It would be great if you could join us.  A champagne toast to end a fantastic journey. http://pulseinstitute.adobeconnect.com/flatline/  Any one can join. A Wake for an old friend, a acceleration of the life of an idea.  Hope you can make it.

So what shows up in my life lately are movies and invitations about story telling and writing.  I am always fascinated about how what we focus on appears.  I believe it is likely always there but we don’t necessarily see it until our attention is drawn by some inner need to complete something.

This weekend I watched a movie called Sunshine and Shadows.  It is set in England and Tuscany.  It is about a publisher who is also a fledgling writer who is assigned to find a writer who hasn’t written a book in more than 20 years and convince his to write again.  I loved the story.  It was funny and compassionate and well written.  I also am a fan of Tuscany and the people there.  the other movie I watched this weekend was Under the Tuscan Sun.  I had seen that one before and just needed to watch a good story with a happy ending again to bolster my faith in humanity.

The line from the Sunshine and Shadows movie that has stayed with me is “Writing is hard work.”  Why that is news to me I can’t really figure out.  I know that writing is hard work.  I also know that GETTING TO THE WRITING is harder for me.  The two books that are in my head are heavy.  I feel as if I am nine and a half months pregnant with twins. I can block time and set deadlines until the cows come home but it doesn’t really move the book along.  I need help.

Suggestions???

How can you change your PULSE?  Pulse rates are usually pretty stable and predictable but once in a while your pulse rate changes. What are the triggers for that?  Could be physical exertion or it could be emotional response or it could be your brain creating threats for you … real or imagined.  What can you do to lower the impact of perceived threat and normalize your physiological response?

One of the most important outcomes of using PULSE to structure your conversations is that you rarely get so excited by words that your PULSE changes.  Because you have a clearer understanding about what to do or say and how and why to do it you are less likely to trigger the physiological responses of fight, flight or freeze.  You might be curious about what is being said and why.  You might find the courage to ask the question in your head and test that assumption you  might be making.  You might feel confident enough to feel compassion and a real connection with the other party which moves your body to relax, release and relate, thus lowering your pulse rate.

Learning PULSE definitely keeps your blood pressure and your heart rate healthy.

How can I say that?  That is a pretty wild claim.  How can a Frame for Social Exchanges change your life?

I know that getting excited  rather than curious can change your physical state.  I also know that remaining calm and in control is a lot easier if you have a plan and a structure for the difficult conversation you are in.  When you have confidence in a peaceful sustainable outcome because you know what to do you are less likely to feel threatened by any situation.  You are more likely to use your training to de-escalate and resolve thus lowering everyone’s heart rate.

Like the CPR training you took to help people having heart failure, your PULSE training takes you into situations to calm emotional responses so that people can get the blood back into their brains.  CPR gets the heart going again.   PULSE slows it down.

I am working through Cd’s from Experts’ Academy with Brendon Burchard.  He is dynamic and  interesting.  I like him.  Some of the points he makes are insightful and informative and I would like to publically thank him even though I am not finished with my instruction on how to be an expert.

Brendon makes a point about what I would call operationalizing your expertise.  He suggests using frameworks and checklists.  Hmmm.  We do that.  He says that one mistake that experts make is to offer conceptual approaches to solving people’s problems rather than the “fast and proven” step by step method.  That got me thinking.  When I talk about what PULSE is I know I stay at the conceptual level.  Rarely do I say ” PULSE is five easy steps for managing any social exchange.”  That is what PULSE is… Five easy steps

1. Prepare by setting Purpose and Protocol for the exchange

2. Uncover the Topic

3. Learn the Criteria for a wider future

4. Search the possibilities that meet the criteria

5.  Explain a plan of action

You can do this by using five easy and proven questions to guide each stage of the exchange:

1. What is the purpose of this exchange?

2. What do we need to address today?

3. What about that is important?

4. What could be done in a perfect world?

5. What are we/you committed to doing next?

Collecting the answers to these questions gives you a sustainable outcome.  The process can be applied in any situation.

Using the PULSE Frame gets FAST and PROVEN results.  It improves the quality of conversations, relationships and organizations.  It gives individuals the courage to make a change and the confidence to make a difference.  It contributes to peace and harmony in the workplace or  in the family with a deliberate five stage approach to any social exchange.

Thanks, Brendon, for helping me think through what expertise we have at PULSE and forcing me to identify the operational advantage, not just the conceptual one that the PULSE Frame offers to those who use it.

I love having a place in Canmore and I often consider how wonderful it would be to live in this mountain paradise.  It is a winter wonderland right now.  Fresh snow has covered the mountain peaks and the roads of course.  Skiers are smiling broadly. Motorists … not so much.

While my friends and I were wondering downtown through the shops yesterday I saw two signs that I will remember for a long time.  One said “If you were looking for a SIGN, here it is.”  The other said “You cannot leave where you are until you know where you are going.”  Both are true and thought-provoking … especially if you are considering making a move to a new location.

Canmore has lots to offer.  It is has a large active retirement community.  It has an institute dedicated to studying aging.  It has a new world-class recreational centre.  It is next door to the most magnificent National Park in our country.  It has four and five-star restaurants.  It is an outdoor active place and after a long cold winter it offers a change in attitude toward weather and being out doors.  To learn that you only have to look at the clothing stores in town.  Not much office wear there.  The stores are full of gear for any weather and any outdoor activity.  That is very telling.

People move here because people move here.  They are active and engaged with nature and the community. What would it be like to live here full-time?  Having lived in Grande Cache, another albeit less populated and less famous mountain resort town, I know that life would not necessarily match the utopian image we have for being on permanent vacation in a resort town.  But there is a lot to be said for mountain living.  Hmmmmm…..

In the past we have conducted PULSE programs here that are very well received by the African and American participants in the program.  There may be opportunities to create some interest and attract people to the mountains to contemplate the wisdom of PULSE once again.  Here it is possible to meet needs for every BEACH.  There is experience for the body, inspiration fro the heart and instruction for the head.  A well balanced program that could inspire and instruct through the mountain experience.  It is a perfect place for us to study the SHIFT program together.  We can create a space where we can become SHARP, HAPPY, INDEPENDENT, FIT, TRUSTING people.  SIGN me up.  I have seen the sign. (smile)

It seems as if I have just arrived and it is time once again to pack the car and go.  I will be back soon for my monthly fix of mountain air, and if we can pull it off, we will plan a get together for the PULSE professionals over the summer in this wonderful mountain paradise.  Are you in?