April 5, 2014

Checklists and Coherence

Posted by Dr. Nancy Love under Uncategorized
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Thank you to those who joined me on yesterdays webinar. The link to the recording will be posted on the events calendar at http://www.pulseinstitute.com or you can email me and I will send it to you.  I also added it to the bottom of this post for your convenience.

I spent a great deal of time thinking about how to address checklists on the broadcast. I wanted to touch on the history of checklists as a tool for people who do their work in conversation. Any agenda at any meeting is a checklist. The PULSE checklists where created to help people in difficult situations remember what needs to be addressed at any meeting or in any form of social exchange to ensure a sustainable outcome. AND it works. It is a proven and fast way to move through a conversation or an email or a novel.

I also wanted to talk about the reason that many people do not use checklists and why I have faced resistance from many of my participants on sticking to the script and the checklist especially when you are first learning how to do this work. Most people think that as a professional you SHOULD know how to do this. Their fear is that the clients will think they don’t know what they are doing. In fact the checklist will give the clients MORE confidence in you rather than LESS. That seems counterintuitive and yet it is true. Ask your clients. Would they rather have someone with the right tools do the job or someone who appears to be wining it?

The other thought that occurred to me as I prepared for the webinar was the result of a book I am reading. The Happiness Hypothesis, by Haidt, is a great book. So far I have learned that happiness = work + love. Of course Haidt’s theories are much more robust than one simple equation. The notion of coherence is explored with respect to cultures and religions and although I am clear that PULSE is neither of those it did occur to me that the PULSE Frame and the PULSE movement to create people with the courage to make a change and the confidence to make a difference, to create peaceful productive workplaces is coherent. What I mean by that is that you can start anywhere with PULSE and learn about it from that starting point. It is true to the values and skills and philosophy at every level. Based on Appreciative Inquiry it is curious rather than accusatory. Based on a Sociological Perspective it studies behaviour not psychology. Based on the conflict theory it uses the skills and the language of mediation to prevent and avoid the need for it.

If you begin with the checklist for example you will find the process, the protocol and the purpose for each of the many and varied situations where a PULSE Frame can be successfully applied to improve the likelihood of a sustainable outcome. Whether you are working with teams or one on one doesn’t really matter. The principals are the same. Using it as an operating system inside any organization leads to significant change on the people side, the so called soft skills side. That is why we promote it as a tool for anyone who does their work in conversation or through social exchange. If you are vicariously responsible for the work of others then this PULSE Frame can help you do your work faster and easier.

If you begin with a study of how people do their work in conversation you can get to PULSE. If you begin with how organizations and teams are structured you can also get to PULSE. Teams form. While forming they experience the Prepare stage. Knowing what questions need answering at the Prepare stage makes that forming easier and faster. Then teams become fractious. This is them Uncovering the title of their story, shedding the emotional attachments to a past that a skillful PULSE professional can negotiate with them. Then teams becoming working teams. Here they work with each other to develop a sense of shared values in the present. They Learn what their criteria for the future are. Then they perform. They are good at what they do. They understand their circumstances and their significance and now they Search for what’s also possible. Then teams reform with a new purpose or they wrap up and move on, Explaining what the next steps will be. The cycle of teams=Prepare, Uncover, Learn, Search, Explain. The cycle of organizations, the cycle of relationships, the cycle of social exchanges can all be represented by PULSE. Understanding the theory behind the checklist is crucial but, believe it or not, not necessary for you to use it successfully. That’s because it is coherent and elegant and effective. Try it. You can download a 30 page document with five kinds of PULSE scripts and checklists from our website or using the links below.

I could go on and on … and I tend to. Sorry. Suffice to say I am excited by what I know about how PULSE has worked in the past, the significance of it in the present and the endless field of possibilities for it in the future.

 

http://pulseinstitute.adobeconnect.com/p2jutzkylyg/ 40 minute braodcast – Checklists for Every Occassion

For 30 pages of PULSE checklists cut and paste the URL into your browser.

https://db.tt/5g65JCBv

 

 

 

 

 

April 1, 2014

Checklists – For People Who Do Their Work in Social Exchanges

Posted by Dr. Nancy Love under PULSE Conversations, Social Exchange, Uncategorized | Tags: , , |
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When I first starting thinking about Checklists I associated them with routine and ritual.  Now I know that the reason you have a checklist is because something is NOT routine and you do not have a ritual that matches it.  Checklists are for those things that are not natural.  They are best used to guide you through processes that are counterintuitive like the PULSE Frame.

This week on Friday I will be presenting a free webinar on Checklists and the different applications for PULSE.  I have been thinking a lot about the way that I use PULSE and how often I can use it to analyze what went wrong in a social exchange.  What did I forget to say or do that I might have got had I been deliberately using my checklist?  It is always there.  Someone tells someone something from a conversation that I believed to be confidential.  Not having spelled that out ( “I would like to keep this confidential until I talk to so and so.”),  the other person shared the information with so and so who then made assumptions which he acted on and the inevitable confusion around miscommunication and interpreted intentions ensued.

With something as simple as the PULSE Frame, something I am sooo familiar with, I thought I could wing it.  I wasn’t even consciously using my mental checklist.  The thing to remember is that although PULSE is simple and easy to use, it is also complex and deliberate.  If you  miss something you are in danger of creating more conflict rather than avoiding or mitigating it.  If you want to keep people in the Green Zone, the friendly zone where relationships are enhanced then take my advice and USE THE CHECKLIST.

It is not always important in every social exchange to state the purpose, protocol and process. BUT you should at least think about why or why not you are doing those things.  It is not always important to STATE the five guiding questions but you should have answers for all of them before you complete your exchange.  Follow the formula to get sustainable results.  When you don’t get sustainable results you can usually trace it back to a missed piece of information or question.  Press rewind and try again.  This time USE the Checklist.

Here are two versions.  One for a two-way conversation and one for a three-way with an intervener guiding the exchange.  Make them work for you.  They represent a fast and proven method to get sustainable outcomes form any social exchange.

© 2008 Dr. Nancy Love of the PULSE Institute
PULSE Two-Way Conversation Checklist
PREPARE FOR THE PROCESS: “How will the conversation proceed?”
(10 minutes)
􀂆 Set the Tone and describe the Purpose.
􀂆 Describe the Process:
􀂆 Establish Protocol: GHOST.
􀂆 Establish Confidentiality (audience).
􀂆 Confirm Authority.
􀂆 Roles.
􀂆 Confirm Time (1-2 hours).
􀂆 Transition: “Are you ready to proceed?”

UNCOVER THE CIRCUMSTANCES FROM THE PAST: “What are we here to resolve?”
(10-15 minutes)
􀂆 Ask: “What are you here to resolve today?”
􀂆 Listen. NO NOTES.
􀂆 Acknowledge. “Thank you”.
􀂆 State what you are here to resolve.
􀂆 Reframe to Neutral Title for the conversation.
􀂆 Confirm and write circumstance on chart:
􀂆 Remind the other party that circumstances can be added.
􀂆 Transition: “Now is our opportunity to learn from each other.”

LEARN THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES IN THE PRESENT:
“What’s important to us about the situation?”
(20-30 minutes)
􀂆 Remind of the GHOST protocol.
􀂆 Ask: “What is important to you about …”
􀂆 Listen. NOTES.
􀂆 Trust in the process.
􀂆 Talk Gently, Honestly, Openly and Specifically: “What is important to me is…”
􀂆 Support Conciliatory Gestures when left unnoticed by the other party.
􀂆 Reframe – BEACH (Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns, Hopes)
􀂆 Confirm and write on chart:
􀂆 Summary Goal Statement: “Given that…”
􀂆 Transition: “Our opportunity now is to generate options that would meet the criteria and
resolve the circumstance.”
SEARCH POSSIBILITIES FOR THE FUTURE: “What could we do?”
(10-15 minutes)
􀂆 Ask “What could we do? 10-12 options work best”.
􀂆 Stand at chart and Listen.
􀂆 Reframe all Options as positive verb phrases in scattered bubbles.
􀂆 Offer positive actionable ideas.
􀂆 Check Options against Criteria: “Do these options meet our criteria?”
􀂆 Check for feasibility and authority: “I’ll circle those that are feasible, doable and within our
authority for further consideration.”
􀂆 Transition: At the chart “Now I will act as scribe as we agree on the contents of the plan for
the future.”
EXPLAIN THE PLAN FOR THE FUTURE: “What do we agree do?”
(10-15 minutes)
􀂆 Ask “What would we like the plan to say?”
􀂆 Listen.
􀂆 Scribe detailed behaviourally specific circumstances: “Who agrees to do what by when?
How?”
􀂆 Confirm the plan by reading it out loud.
􀂆 Confirm Commitment to the plan: “What if expectations in the plan are not met?”

CLOSING:
􀂆 Review the Purpose.
􀂆 Review the Process (PULSE).
􀂆 Review Protocol.
􀂆 Tear up the notes to confirm CONFIDENTIALITY. “Does anyone else need to see the plan?”
􀂆 Confirm feasibility and Authority to implement the plan.
􀂆 Roles: Invite the opportunity to use the protocol and the PULSE process to deal with other
circumstances that may arise between you.
􀂆 Conclusion: “Thank you.”

PULSE Three-Way Conversation Checklist
PREPARE FOR THE PROCESS: “How will this conversation proceed?”
CONVERSATION MAP: Δ talks to the Parties (10 minutes)
􀂆 Set the Tone and describe the Purpose.
􀂆 Describe the Process:
􀂆 Establish Protocol: GHOST.
􀂆 Establish Confidentiality (audience).
􀂆 Confirm Authority.
􀂆 Describe Roles for Δ and participants.
􀂆 Confirm Time (1-2 hours).
􀂆 Transition: “Are you ready to proceed?”
UNCOVER THE CIRCUMSTANCES FROM THE PAST: “What are you here to resolve?”
CONVERSATION MAP: Parties talk one at a time to the Δ. (10-15 minutes)
􀂆 Ask: “What are you here to resolve today?”
􀂆 Listen. Look at the speaker. NO NOTES.
􀂆 Acknowledge after each party speaks: “Thank you”.
􀂆 Listen.
􀂆 Reframe to Neutral Title for the conversation.
􀂆 Confirm and write circumstance on chart:
􀂆 Remind Parties that circumstances can be added.
􀂆 Transition: At the chart “Now you will have an opportunity to speak directly to each other.”
LEARN THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES IN THE PRESENT:
“What’s important to you about the situation?”
CONVERSATION MAP: Δ Listens for criteria. Parties talk to each other. (20-30 minutes)
􀂆 Remind parties of GHOST protocol.
􀂆 Invite the Parties to Speak to each Other: “Tell each other what is important to you about …”
􀂆 Listen. Look at the listener. WAIT 10 minutes. NOTES
􀂆 Trust in the process. WAIT. Let them talk.
􀂆 Support Conciliatory Gestures when left unnoticed by the other party.
􀂆 Reframe – BEACH (Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns, Hopes)
􀂆 Confirm and write on chart:
􀂆 Summary Goal Statement: “Given that…”
􀂆 Transition: At the chart “Your opportunity now is to generate options that would meet the
criteria and resolve the circumstance.”
SEARCH POSSIBILITIES FOR THE FUTURE: “What could you do?”
CONVERSATION MAP: Parties speak to Δ, Δ acts as scribe. (10-15 minutes)
􀂆 Ask “What could you do? 10-12 options work best”.
􀂆 Stand at chart and Listen.
􀂆 Reframe all Options as positive verb phrases in scattered bubbles.
􀂆 Listen. Say nothing – WAIT.
􀂆 Check Options against Criteria: “Do these options meet your criteria?”
􀂆 Check for feasibility and authority: “I’ll circle those that are feasible, doable and within your
authority for further consideration.”
􀂆 Transition: At the chart “Now I will act as scribe as you dictate to me the contents of your
plan for the future.”
EXPLAIN THE PLAN FOR THE FUTURE: “What do you agree do?”
CONVERSATION MAP: Parties dictate to the Δ what to write in THE PLAN (10-15 minutes)
􀂆 Ask “What would you like the plan to say?”
􀂆 Listen.
􀂆 Scribe detailed behaviourally specific circumstances: “Who agrees to do what by when?
How?”
􀂆 Confirm the plan by reading it out loud.
􀂆 Confirm Commitment to the plan: “What if expectations in the plan are not met?”
CLOSING:
􀂆 Review the Purpose.
􀂆 Review the Process (PULSE). Stand at the chart.
􀂆 Review Protocol.
􀂆 Tear up the notes to confirm CONFIDENTIALITY. “Does anyone else need to see the plan?”
􀂆 Confirm feasibility and Authority to implement the plan.
􀂆 Roles: Invite parties to use the protocol and the PULSE process to deal with other
circumstances that may arise between them.
􀂆 Conclusion: “Thank you.”

Join us at 10:00 MST on Friday April 4th for a forty minute free webinar to learn more.

pulse frame poster

 

March 24, 2014

PULSE Change – Saving lives with PULSE

Posted by Dr. Nancy Love under PULSE Conversations, PULSE Revival, Social Exchange | Tags: , |
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How can you change your PULSE?  Pulse rates are usually pretty stable and predictable but once in a while your pulse rate changes. What are the triggers for that?  Could be physical exertion or it could be emotional response or it could be your brain creating threats for you … real or imagined.  What can you do to lower the impact of perceived threat and normalize your physiological response?

One of the most important outcomes of using PULSE to structure your conversations is that you rarely get so excited by words that your PULSE changes.  Because you have a clearer understanding about what to do or say and how and why to do it you are less likely to trigger the physiological responses of fight, flight or freeze.  You might be curious about what is being said and why.  You might find the courage to ask the question in your head and test that assumption you  might be making.  You might feel confident enough to feel compassion and a real connection with the other party which moves your body to relax, release and relate, thus lowering your pulse rate.

Learning PULSE definitely keeps your blood pressure and your heart rate healthy.

How can I say that?  That is a pretty wild claim.  How can a Frame for Social Exchanges change your life?

I know that getting excited  rather than curious can change your physical state.  I also know that remaining calm and in control is a lot easier if you have a plan and a structure for the difficult conversation you are in.  When you have confidence in a peaceful sustainable outcome because you know what to do you are less likely to feel threatened by any situation.  You are more likely to use your training to de-escalate and resolve thus lowering everyone’s heart rate.

Like the CPR training you took to help people having heart failure, your PULSE training takes you into situations to calm emotional responses so that people can get the blood back into their brains.  CPR gets the heart going again.   PULSE slows it down.

 

March 18, 2014

Fast and Proven Results with PULSE

Posted by Dr. Nancy Love under PULSE Conversations, PULSE Revival, Social Exchange | Tags: , |
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I am working through Cd’s from Experts’ Academy with Brendon Burchard.  He is dynamic and  interesting.  I like him.  Some of the points he makes are insightful and informative and I would like to publically thank him even though I am not finished with my instruction on how to be an expert.

Brendon makes a point about what I would call operationalizing your expertise.  He suggests using frameworks and checklists.  Hmmm.  We do that.  He says that one mistake that experts make is to offer conceptual approaches to solving people’s problems rather than the “fast and proven” step by step method.  That got me thinking.  When I talk about what PULSE is I know I stay at the conceptual level.  Rarely do I say ” PULSE is five easy steps for managing any social exchange.”  That is what PULSE is… Five easy steps

1. Prepare by setting Purpose and Protocol for the exchange

2. Uncover the Topic

3. Learn the Criteria for a wider future

4. Search the possibilities that meet the criteria

5.  Explain a plan of action

You can do this by using five easy and proven questions to guide each stage of the exchange:

1. What is the purpose of this exchange?

2. What do we need to address today?

3. What about that is important?

4. What could be done in a perfect world?

5. What are we/you committed to doing next?

Collecting the answers to these questions gives you a sustainable outcome.  The process can be applied in any situation.

Using the PULSE Frame gets FAST and PROVEN results.  It improves the quality of conversations, relationships and organizations.  It gives individuals the courage to make a change and the confidence to make a difference.  It contributes to peace and harmony in the workplace or  in the family with a deliberate five stage approach to any social exchange.

Thanks, Brendon, for helping me think through what expertise we have at PULSE and forcing me to identify the operational advantage, not just the conceptual one that the PULSE Frame offers to those who use it.

 

March 17, 2014

Canmore 2014 – A PULSE Revival

Posted by Dr. Nancy Love under PULSE evival, PULSE Revival, SHIFT Happens | Tags: , |
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I love having a place in Canmore and I often consider how wonderful it would be to live in this mountain paradise.  It is a winter wonderland right now.  Fresh snow has covered the mountain peaks and the roads of course.  Skiers are smiling broadly. Motorists … not so much.

While my friends and I were wondering downtown through the shops yesterday I saw two signs that I will remember for a long time.  One said “If you were looking for a SIGN, here it is.”  The other said “You cannot leave where you are until you know where you are going.”  Both are true and thought-provoking … especially if you are considering making a move to a new location.

Canmore has lots to offer.  It is has a large active retirement community.  It has an institute dedicated to studying aging.  It has a new world-class recreational centre.  It is next door to the most magnificent National Park in our country.  It has four and five-star restaurants.  It is an outdoor active place and after a long cold winter it offers a change in attitude toward weather and being out doors.  To learn that you only have to look at the clothing stores in town.  Not much office wear there.  The stores are full of gear for any weather and any outdoor activity.  That is very telling.

People move here because people move here.  They are active and engaged with nature and the community. What would it be like to live here full-time?  Having lived in Grande Cache, another albeit less populated and less famous mountain resort town, I know that life would not necessarily match the utopian image we have for being on permanent vacation in a resort town.  But there is a lot to be said for mountain living.  Hmmmmm…..

In the past we have conducted PULSE programs here that are very well received by the African and American participants in the program.  There may be opportunities to create some interest and attract people to the mountains to contemplate the wisdom of PULSE once again.  Here it is possible to meet needs for every BEACH.  There is experience for the body, inspiration fro the heart and instruction for the head.  A well balanced program that could inspire and instruct through the mountain experience.  It is a perfect place for us to study the SHIFT program together.  We can create a space where we can become SHARP, HAPPY, INDEPENDENT, FIT, TRUSTING people.  SIGN me up.  I have seen the sign. (smile)

It seems as if I have just arrived and it is time once again to pack the car and go.  I will be back soon for my monthly fix of mountain air, and if we can pull it off, we will plan a get together for the PULSE professionals over the summer in this wonderful mountain paradise.  Are you in?

 

March 12, 2014

The Wizard of OZ and PULSE

Posted by Dr. Nancy Love under BEACHs, PULSE Conversations, PULSE Enneagram, SHIFT Happens | Tags: , , |
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I am not sure why but this morning I have been thinking about the movie “The Wizard of Oz.”  I think at the Academy Awards they recognized the 75 th of anniversary of the film.  I remember P!nk singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”  Maybe that is why it is with me.

The characters …Scarecrow, Tin-man and Lion … were all searching for something.  Even Dorothy was looking for a way home.  These characters represent our Head, Heart and Body.  Scarecrow was looking for a brain. What the Wizard gave him was evidence of his already being smart with a diploma.  The diploma gave him the confidence to move forward.  The Tin-man was looking for a Heart, ways to connect with other people.  The Wizard again gave him evidence that he already demonstrated the compassion he was seeking. The Lion was looking for courage.  He wanted to be brave in the face of present danger.  The Wizard gave him a medal as evidence that he had already demonstrated courage and bravery. Confidence, compassion and courage.   Head, heart and body.

Dorothy, too, discovered that she had had the power to return home all along.  All she had to do was click her heels together three times and say …”There is no place like home.”  Like Dorothy we all  have  the power we need within us to make a change and make a difference.  We can demonstrate confidence, compassion and courage under certain circumstances but we may not be very good at recognizing our own strengths.  Think about a time when you had the confidence to make a change and the compassion and courage to make a difference.

BE the Wizard today.  Give someone else evidence that they already possess confidence, compassion and courage.  Do it by noticing for them what they may not recognize in themselves.  Tell them their own story from a different perspective.  They will smile.

 

March 10, 2014

What’s important about PULSE …

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PULSE is a stance.  When we say someone is PULSEIFIED we mean that they can hold a space for others to make decisions in, that they know how to be gentle AND honest and that they can guide a conversation through the emotion of the past through the significance in the present to the possibilities for the future.  PULSE professionals can open the field of the future to include more options and opportunities than otherwise were possible.  I love the appreciative stance and how it frees people to think creatively and to let go of the old stories they have built and held on to without much evidence for or against their version of things.

We are starting our first on-line training soon.  I am excited by the possibilities that it opens for us in the field of our future.  Here is another opportunity for people to learn how to manage social exchanges in a peaceful, productive way.   More relationships can be improved and the quality of decisions can increase as more people gain the attitudes, skills and knowledge for managing the space between us.  they will gain the courage to make a difference and the confidence to make a difference at their desks, using  their own computers.  Look at us using technology to teach about social exchanges that include digital encounters of the PULSE kind.

Lots of reasons to smile today….

 

March 4, 2014

PULSE CPR

Posted by Dr. Nancy Love under PULSE Conversations, SHIFT Happens | Tags: , , , , |
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Reviving PULSE.

After a couple of less active years where I was working for Parks Canada or just busy writing, it is actually fun to have a schedule and to interact with PULSE professionals again.  This morning I did my second 2014 webinar.  PULSE Professionals from Red Deer, Alberta and the Washington DC area as well as from Ghana in Africa joined the session to review the Five Stages of the Frame and the significance, the theory and the skills associated with each Prepare, Uncover, Learn, Search and Explain.

Here is the link to the recording.  If you have 40 minutes for a quick refresher it might be fun.  ( Ignore the right brain/left brain bit…. I think I got it backwards which will not surprise those of you who know me well and know that left and right have never been easy for me.)

http://pulseinstitute.adobeconnect.com/p66aton3eer/

If you have comments or questions I would be happy to respond.

I have new appreciation for CPR – Cardiovascular Pulmonary Resuscitation, having witnessed it in hospital recently, when the patient coded and the staff spring into action.  At PULSE it has represented Content, Process and Response; the three aspects of an exchange that influence the outcome and although it can be vital to maintaining relationships, it is not critical to life itself.  CPR PULSE style is used to save relationships and revive the space between people and not as a life saving procedure in the case of cardiac arrest.

I do hope that our PULSE will be resuscitated, that it will come back to life.  I hope we can reignite the flame for the FRAME that helps people have successful social exchanges.  It is still simple yet complex like all of us. Today I reviewed the Process in some detail.  In future sessions we will indeed look at the Content of PULSE, the theory behind it and the Response of PULSE, the heart of it, the skills that make it work.  Our purpose is to show its relevance in today’s fast paced, digital communications.  Lives are changed with one text or one email.  If we can use the PULSE Frame to inform not only face to face conversations but also these electronic methods of social exchange maybe we can create a gentle, honest, open , specific transaction that won’t cost us relationships but will work to improve them as we interact using the Frame.

The next session will be on April 4th :  PULSE Checklists.  I will present and review with you at least 10 specific uses for the PULSE Frame and how to gently shift it to your purposes.  The link is on our website www.pulseinstitute.com on the calendar.

Hope you can join us.

 

February 24, 2014

Blatant Self Promotion …

Posted by Dr. Nancy Love under Uncategorized
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Here is a copy of the PULSE Newslter. Some of you have subscribed on our website but many of you may not be familiar with it so I am nudging you there now.
http://www.pulseintitute.com

The PULSE Rate 2.0

Dear Nancy Love: Welcome to the February 2014 edition of the PULSE Rate! We are excited to annouce that we have begun redesigning the PULSE Professional program. Stay tuned in the coming months to learn how you can receive PULSE Professional certification and become an expert in Social Exchange™.


Upcoming Webinar

Please join me Tuesday, March 4, 2014 at 10:00am MST for a free 40 minute Webinar titled “PULSE in Review” an overview of the PULSE Frame and Five Stage Model. Below is a brief overview for those that have never used PULSE or for those that would like a refresher. Here is the direct link to the program … PULSE REVIEW

PULSE Five Stage Model – An Overview

Using Language skills effectively in conversation requires your attention and your intention to be deliberate and focused. The PULSE conversation has helped many people resolve differences by showing them when and where to apply the skills and structure so that sustainable outcomes can be assured. The PULSE Conversation Frame provides the structure for successful, effective conversations and social exchanges. It is a five stage process that Prepares people for the conversation by setting a purpose, process, and protocol. Parties then Uncover the circumstances from the past that precipitated the conversation and gave a title to “the story” by answering the question “What is to be decided or resolved?”. Parties speak directly to each other to Learn the significance of “the story” and use that information to set criteria for a sustainable future. Then they Search for options that will meet their criteria in a brainstorm session. Once options are identified that are feasible, doable and within the authority of the parties are chosen for consideration in the Explain stage where a detailed plan of action is generated by the parties. Each of the stages relies on the different skills of the PULSE professional to create a sense of comfort, to be courageous, curious, confident, and commited to the process and sustainable, balanced outcome.

Check out the PULSE Website today! You will find: PULSE

PULSE Professional Program Info
Blogs
Event Calendar
PULSE Professionals Database
Links to Twitter, Facebook and YouTube!

PULSEisms:100 Ways to Use PULSE
Below is a shortened list taken from one of our most popular blog posts (over 25,000 views!). You can read that blog post in its entirety by clicking the link below.

1. Conversations work best when ….
2.Gentle – so others can keep listening.
3. Honest – say what you are thinking…. in a gentle way.
4. You are not prepared to resolve or move on until you have said everything that is on your mind.
5. Be open to what is being said and allow it to influence you.
6. Use specific examples for clarity… a story, a picture, an image.
7. Sometimes people use the same word to mean two completely different things.
8. Keep talking until you find a resolution.
9. Gentle, Honest, Open, Specific, Talk
10. Listen with HEART. Deep listening works to acknowledge emotion and de-escalate.
11. Hush your own mind, body and heart. Be with the other person. Be curious.
12.Empathise. Walk a mile in their shoes. Ask yourself “What is it like to be them?” Feel for them.
13. Attend to what they are saying and what they are not saying.
14. Body language speaks when it changes.
15. Facial expressions never lie and are universal across cultures.
16. Reflect back what you see. Remain silent so that they can respond to how you
(they) look.
17. Trust that everyone is doing the best they can with what they know.
18. Trust to be trusted.
19. Hush, Empathise, Attend, Reflect and Trust = HEART – deep listening.
20. Earn yourself a hearing.
21. POWER listening gives evidence of having heard.
22. Paraphrase what you hear them saying.
23. Ask Open questions that hinge on what has been said.
24. WAIT – Why am I talking??
25. Let them finish.
26. Let them think about what you have said. Uninterrupted thinking is more
effective.
27. Empathise by noticing and stating the level of emotion that you see, hear or
experience.
28.“This has been difficult for you.”

 

February 21, 2014

Re – membering PULSE

Posted by Dr. Nancy Love under BEACHs, PULSE Conversations, SHIFT Happens, Uncategorized | Tags: , |
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I have been working on combining the two PULSE books today.  They both include some of the history of PULSE and some clear distinctions that make PULSE unique. I love the five stages and how easily they occur in regular conversation.  I love how you can watch the patterns emerge and people move through orientations to the past, the present and the future all the while shifting directions from away from the other,  to with the other and toward the other in a kind of dance that fills the space between them.  Each social exchange helps them define their own social being.

I write about the patterns as a structure to use when the exchange is difficult, when there is conflict or miscommunication.  It is also so helpful in everyday life.  Whether it is a face to face or a voice to voice or a text to text encounter really doesn’t matter.  Social interaction guided by good communication that furthers the social capital of the sender and receiver always contains the five stages, anyway.  They occur naturally.   Prepare, Uncover, Learn, Search and Explain.

Prepare for the social interaction by defining purpose, process, protocol, people.  Some times these are tacitly understood but if there is no clear understanding or assumptions are made that are not shared then things can go very wrong.

Uncover the circumstance that lead to the encounter … the past.

Learn what’s important about the circumstance  in the present and identify BEACHs to use as criteria for change.

Search possibilities for a future that will meet the criteria.

Explain a plan of action with enough detail to make it sustain able.

The guiding questions move us through past to present and future orientations when you need them .  The encounter map works to ensure that we use all of the directions.  People have an opportunity to move away, to move with and toward when the structure is followed.

Each stage has critical elements.  Mastering the elements takes time.  Learning to use the frame is a little easier.

In Prepare for example it is important to use GHOST – Gentle Honest Open Specific Talk.  It is important to be thorough and deliberate as you explain or have the other explain the rules of the game as you understand them.  This is where you take an Appreciative Stance and ACT AS IF the encounter will result in a mutually beneficial outcome.  The more you know about AI and how it works the better you get at Prepare. It is here that relational well being comes into play.

In Uncover it is important to listen deeply – with HEART – Hush, Empathize (feel their pain or joy), Attend, Reflect and Trust. Passive listening without judgement or bias, allowing the past to surface and sometimes change in the telling of the story with a different audience and allowing the shared title of the story to emerge. Emotional well being is important here.

In Learn it is important to prove that you are listening with POWER – Paraphrase, Open questions, WAIT, Empathize (name their pain or joy) and Reframe.  Social selves emerge as do rules for future encounters and redefining of past encounters as Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns and Hopes are shared, acknowledged and understood. Relational well being is again at play here.

In Search it is important to focus on creativity and possibilities and the future.  Patience is key as ideas are generated later to be vetted against the criteria of the BEACHs. Intellectual well being can make a difference here.

In Explain the other side of the brain, the analytical side is asked to perform as the details of the plan emerge and are tested to determine their sustainability. Again intellectual well being makes a difference.

Each stage requires levels of  intellectual, emotional, relational, physical and spiritual well-being.  More about that later.

Today was about remembering PULSE and the power of social exchanges.  It was about expanding that thinking to include not just conversation but any human social interaction that contributes to us knowing who we really are, or re-membering ourselves as part of a greater whole.

Remembering PULSE and RE-membering PULSE.

We are working on getting you back into the habit of PULSE.  Watch for a Newsletter next week and notice the changes on the website and join again if you can.  Making it membership based has been the plan for a year or two now and we are closer today.

Adding value for our members and adding to the list of those of you who read and learn is the PULSE 2.0 Purpose, to give you the courage to make a change and the confidence to make a difference.  The Process is to generate Products and Opportunities that help you gain the courage and the confidence you need to have successful social exchanges, when and where you need it.  The Protocol remains a gentle, honest, open, specific, talk approach, using PULSE to teach PULSE.  The People are PULSE professionals past, present and future with a shared desire to create the best social exchanges and build social capital for brighter futures.

Thanks for the member – ies. (smile)

 

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