Nancy Love’s Weblog

I am sure you are all familiar with the excitement and frustration associated with setting up a new computer. For me it is always a test of my patience and my translation skills. You need to be able to speak the language of the program you are working with if you hope to successfully bring the new computer to a place where you are comfortable working with it.

You have to be Gentle and Honest, especially when you are asking for help. You have to be Open to new ways to doing things and new language for old processes and more steps to achieve the same outcomes. You have to get past the advertising websites to the REAL ones, the Specific ones for downloads and you have to patiently wait for your changes to “populate” something or other so you can get to the next step. And you must keep Talking to get where you need to be and accomplish your mutual goals.( GHOST )

I love what computers do FOR us. I am not as fond of what they have done TO us. My head hurts when I am trying to figure out why a program won’t do what I am asking. I deauthorized two other computers so that I could authorize the new one on itunes. The message I get every time I try to authorize is that I have five authorized machine and I need to deauthorize one. I did that. My account says ” You have three authorized machines.” What am I missing? I really hate those logic loops that you can’t get out of or past.

And then the minute I get the new machine operational, my iPad freezes and needs to be restored. URRGGHHH.

Days like yesterday are frustrating but I like to balance that with remembering how difficult it used to be for the world to receive messages like this from me. Thank you for teaching me persistence and patience and peculiar ways to think about things. Thank you for teaching me a new language and making it possible for me to share my thoughts with others.

I do love my new computer. I am going to call her Constance. I know we will have a long and mutually beneficial relationship. I have friends with that name who are reliable and hard working and that is what I want from my new Constance. In return I will take good care not to over load or treat her in anyway that might lead to break down of any kind.

Cheers to Constance and a new lease on communication and conversation with the world.

You will never guess where I am now. I am in Charlotte Amalie at the University of the Virgin Islands on St Thomas. This morning I presented PULSE to the President and his cabinet. The decision was made only ten days ago and yet here I am having given a three hour version of the five day PULSE course.

I am going to stay until Sunday and make the trek back through Miami and Toronto. Coming here I was routed through Las Vegas and Newark, New Jersey. Of course the threat of the Blizzard of 2015 created quite a stir as we made contingency plans to make sure I actually made it here. Six cities in four days and lots of air time. I had forgotten how tiring it can be to travel for business and how exciting it can be. Anticipating what the client wants and needs to hear can drive you crazy if you let it.

Many of you will know that I have worked with UVI before. I have trained about 75 people between here and Tortola and another 25 or so at St Croix in their Department of Labour. It has been almost 7 years since I was in ST Thomas for work. I was here at the start and finish of a cruise in 2012 and met with my friends and colleagues from the Islands then but I haven’t done any training for a long time … not just here but anywhere.

I enjoyed this mornings session. Right now I am only remembering what I forgot to say and not what I was able to get across. They are nice people and I wanted to give them the tools they need to deal with conflict in their lives. We went through GHOST and POWER and PULSE very quickly. We didn’t do BEACH or SHIFT, both of which I had planned to do. At least those things are in their handouts and everyone did have one thing to take away and work on.

Leave them looking for more.

So from “Aloha” to “Good Afternoon” and back home in one short week. Seems like a dream … Life is like a dream …. Isn’t that a song?

Tonight late we head back to the mainland and with a change in planes in Phoenix I will be home tomorrow afternoon. Travel is amazing.

People in airports amaze me. They are very interesting to watch. It is ususally easy to pick out those who are heading home and those who are on their way somewhere. Some are calm and obviously comfortable with the ebb and flow of checking in, going through security, finding your gate, waiting, lining up and loading the plane. They settle in and enjoy or ignore the flight crew instructions, the take off, the service, the announcements and the landing. They patiently file off the plane and wait for their luggage and then they are gone.

Other people are intimidated by everything that is going on. They don’t seem to know where to be when. They ask the gate personnel and the flight crew a million questions. They get up and down out of their seats alot. They order things the flight crew doesn’t have. You just know that they are not familiar with traveling.

I have traveled more than some and less than others but on the road I have learned that a good traveler has six characteristics.

The Good Traveler is generous, giving up a seat, helping someone else put their oversized luggage in the overhead bin and explaining the routine to others. Generousity always makes the journey more pleasant as we learn to let go of what we don’t need to help our fellow travelers.

Good travelers are disciplined. They have the discipline to keep going against all odds and they have packed exactly what they need in their kit each time that they leave home. They know when to sleep to avoid becoming overtired and are generally ready for anything.

Good travelers have patience. They listen to instructions that they have heard a million times before. They have the patience to stay put if they have to without getting ruffled and to put up with minor inconveniences of all sort with the goal of reaching their destination clearly in mind.

Good Travelers have a joyful enthusiasm for discovering new places or returning to familiar places with new eyes. They talk story with fellow travelers and share experiences gladly. They understand that the journey is the thing and enjoying it is the first step in creating good memories.

Good travelers have courage and curiouslty in good measure. Their curiousty keeps them aware of what is going on around them and gets them interested in their fellow travelers. Their courage lets them ask questions rather than take things for granted or suffer in silence when things go awry. They have the courage to step forward if someone calls for a volunteer or step into the unknown with quiet confidence.

I believe that travelers have these characteristics and if they don’t they acquire them on the way. I have had many occasions where the trip I had planned turned into the trip from hell with canceled flights and six hour layovers and if I didn’t have those characteristics before, traveling has taught me to be generous and disciplined, patient and enthusiastic, curious and courageous and those characteristics will make tonight’s travel more pleasant then it might have been otherwise.

Aloha to the big island and all the fellow travelers we have met here.

It’s a verb. In Hawaii I asked a guy how his day was going. He said. “I have a great job. All I do is drive around and talk story with people all day.”

That’s a cool way to think about it. When you are on vacation or in a resort that is what happens. You meet new people and you talk story with them. They tell you theirs and you tell them yours.

Try it sometime. It really takes no time at all or it can take all day depending on the length of the story and how much you have in common. Sometimes you have a lot.

We met a guy sitting on a wall watching the high surf yesterday. He was on his way to the airport to go back to the states and then on to St Thomas. He talked about snorkeling and how much he loves it and the fact that he travels a lot to concerts all over the US. He was fascinating. Our common ground was geographic. We were in the same place watching the same awe inspiring sea crash against the lava rocks.

In most cases you will have a geographic connection with who ever you are with and as Meg Wheatley says the only solid base for a community is PLACE. If you are in the same place you already have something in common. Start there.

We should all spend more time talking story to each other. We could get to know each other a lot better and we would learn to be story tellers and conversationalists. In the company of others we are happier and healthier. In a crowd we could be alone, but all it takes for a crowd to become company is people willing to talk story.

Change a lonely experience into a chance to meet a new friend and exchange stories … only the bits you want to share of course.
Talk story with someone today.

Sometimes your most coherent moments are in the middle of the night. Last night I had a request from my African colleague to outline the new book. Here is what I wrote….

1. Here be Dragons – This refers to the ancient maps of European explorers who would print Here be Dragons when a place was unexplored to indicate the unknown and possible danger. This chapter talks about the uncharted territory between people n conversation and makes an argument for the geographic metaphor.
2. Where in the World – This chapter talks about the roots of the Enneagram and how it has been used in the past to explore personality typing. I am suggesting it as a tool for exploring the space between us with is a sociological approach.
3. A Travelers Guide – Here I explore the Territories and Regions of the Enneagram Map, describing the language and culture you can expect to see, hear and experience as you .
4. EPS – Enneagram Positioning System – This chapter shows readers how to find a position on the map by cross referencing direction and orientation. You can map the space using clues from the conversation to position you and the other person. It suggests how you might then read the map so that you can identify common ground.
5. PULSE – Prepare for the journey, Uncover the destination, Learn the lay of the land, Search the possible routes and Explain the plan for reaching the destination. This chapter is about how to use PULSE to move people from one position or region to another. It is about becoming a travel guide, planning the route and gently guiding people along the way with the skills and processes.
6. SHIFT – This chapter adds a third dimension to the Enneagram circle creating a cone shape. The third dimension is wellbeing on five measures, SHIFT stands for Sharp Mind, Happy Heart, Independent Spirit, Fit Body and Trusting Soul. The greater the sense of wellbeing the closer to the top of the cone and to the other regions you become. The less well you are feeling the closer you are to the bottom, distancing yourself from the other regions.
7. The MAP is not the TERRITORY – This chapter draws the readers attention to the differences between being in a place and looking at the place on a map. The one informs the other but they are not the same. It is a caution to use the map wisely and to be able to read the signs, the road signs and the milestones along the way to understand what the map is telling you.

It hasn’t all been site seeing and sun bathing … well mostly…. but I have been working. With the help of my new book coach, Trish, progress is being made.

So today we changed locations, moving back to the south end of Kona where the girls and I were last summer. It is nice here. We overlook the pool and have a beautiful room.

The sunset tonight was spectacular again. There were whales breaching in the foreground as the crimson ball sank into the crystal blue water. Heaven.

A couple of days ago we went to Hapuna Beach. It is a popular beach on the big Island in a state park on the west coast. It is a gorgeous stretch of sand like Waikiki and this time of year the waves a big. They reminded me of the waves we were all jumping last year in Hanalei.

To get to the beach we took the long way that ended in a lava cliff. We decided to climb down. It didn’t look that bad except that we were wearing flip flops. Donna went first and I was handing here down the chairs and towels when a tall, gray haired man stopped to help us.

He offered me his hand to help me down from my precarious perch. I wasn’t sure how to take the next step. I asked him what would be easier. Should I jump? Should I sit down first. He didn’t answer. He just kept holding out his hand and smiling.

I grabbed his right thumb with my right hand. It was the biggest gentlest hand I had ever held on to. He guided me to the next rock and then to the sandy beach. I thanked him profusely and he smiled and walked away. I saw him sit on the sand and look out at the ocean. He was definitely the strong silent type.

Donna and I assessed where we were and set down our chairs and blankets when I looked back he was gone. He was Hawaiian. I have seen statues of King Kamehameha III and that guy looked like him. I was glad that Donna had seen him too because I was beginning to wonder whether I had imagined the whole thing. His quiet strength was impressive and gentle and I wish I had learned more about him before he disappeared.

Thanks again to the friendly giant on the beach … where ever you are.

Donna and I went on a Whale Watching sail the other day. We left the bay at around 3:00 in the afternoon and motored north. The Biologist on board, Jeff, was great. He had all the facts about whales and their lives. He answered all of the questions we had and then we began to see the wonderful creatures.

Words cannot describe the feeling you get when a whale shows you his tail. It is somewhere between gratitude and excitement, awe and appreciation. The animals we saw where gigantic. We were lucky enough to witness around 20 whales at the surface. Spouts all around us but in particular two whales traveling together gave us quite a show. They would surface and show their tails for a while and then disappear.

The crew would begin calling them and encouraged us to do the same. Suddenly they appeared at the back of the boat about 20 yards off the stern, showed their backs and then their tails in turn. MAGNIFICENT and a little scary. They were way bigger than the boat.

We were all smiles and joy. The crew said it was the best experience they had had for a long time and they were all feeling like we had our money’s worth when our whales suddenly reappeared at the front of the boat. Could have been two different whales but the tails, which are like fingerprints, looked very much the same. Again they passed so close to the boat you felt you could reach out and touch them. Even the crew were high fiving each other.

What an experience!!

It was a magical time. The crew was excellent. Our fellow travelers were appropriately impressed and the whales were accomodating. They answered the call and they stayed and partied with us. You almost wanted to invite them aboard for one of the delicious Maitais.

If you are of a certain age you automatically sing “do do do do” after you hear “Here Comes the Sun” and “I say…It’s alright.”

The old Beatles classic is a great tune with wonderful lyrics. I was actually working out yesterday with my phone plugged into my ears and my music on when I heard it again for the first time. It felt like home and in this very sunny place it felt like the right song to sing. Lines like “The ice is slowly melting” could mean getting out of the cold or it could mean that you are thawing out after a long time protecting yourself … like in the movie Frozen.

It was a powerful reminder of the power of music in my life and the wonderful emotions that can be triggered by a song. Tears came to my eyes as I felt the meaning of the song. Things are looking up. They are getting better. The sun is coming out and it is alright.

Of course that song was followed by “Fool on the Hill” and I wondered what meaning I should take from that as I stood on a hill looking out over the rolling hills of the Big Island. Keep humble!!

I saw a hoody yesterday at a store here on the Big Island of Hawaii that said “I am LOVE” on the back of it. Unfortunately they didn’t have my size or I would be walking around with my name advertised on my back in big bold letters. I am Love and I do love aloha.

Being back here in January is great. It is beautiful. I am looking out onto a golf course with Cook Pines and BIG wild turkeys and Nene geese that look a lot like Canada geese everywhere. Yesterday the male turkeys put on a fantastic show for us and the hens were chasing each other around. I am not sure what that was about but it looked like they all turned on one for some reason.

Yesterday we drove up to the north shore where the small town of HAWI is. It was about an hour and a half loop and on the way back we were climbing for about 15 miles through ranch land with cattle and horses to a summit of 3456 feet Then the road descended rather rapidly over a five mile stretch back to the town of Waimea. The sun was setting and from that elevation it was quite a show. The VOG in the air from the volcano turned the sun into a red ball in the sky that hung over the rugged lava flows of years gone by. It was other worldly.

I might have to actually turn on the TV and see what’s going on with the volcano. It is hazy already this morning. This is the same volcano, Kilauea, who chased away the hurricanes this summer when I was here with the girls. Two hurricanes and two earth quakes in one week and it didn’t seem to faze anyone. After all we were still in paradise.

What makes this island so special is the diversity. From the volcano in the south and cattle ranching in the north, white and black sand beaches and moonscapes where the lava from old eruptions cover the earth. The snow on the top of Mauna Kea, which means white mountain in Hawaiian, has ski runs on it which we could see from our vantage point on the west coast yesterday and yet it was 27 degrees where we were.

The sun is shining and it promises to be another warm sunny day. Take care everyone.