I have been working on combining the two PULSE books today. They both include some of the history of PULSE and some clear distinctions that make PULSE unique. I love the five stages and how easily they occur in regular conversation. I love how you can watch the patterns emerge and people move through orientations to the past, the present and the future all the while shifting directions from away from the other, to with the other and toward the other in a kind of dance that fills the space between them. Each social exchange helps them define their own social being.
I write about the patterns as a structure to use when the exchange is difficult, when there is conflict or miscommunication. It is also so helpful in everyday life. Whether it is a face to face or a voice to voice or a text to text encounter really doesn’t matter. Social interaction guided by good communication that furthers the social capital of the sender and receiver always contains the five stages, anyway. They occur naturally. Prepare, Uncover, Learn, Search and Explain.
Prepare for the social interaction by defining purpose, process, protocol, people. Some times these are tacitly understood but if there is no clear understanding or assumptions are made that are not shared then things can go very wrong.
Uncover the circumstance that lead to the encounter … the past.
Learn what’s important about the circumstance in the present and identify BEACHs to use as criteria for change.
Search possibilities for a future that will meet the criteria.
Explain a plan of action with enough detail to make it sustain able.
The guiding questions move us through past to present and future orientations when you need them . The encounter map works to ensure that we use all of the directions. People have an opportunity to move away, to move with and toward when the structure is followed.
Each stage has critical elements. Mastering the elements takes time. Learning to use the frame is a little easier.
In Prepare for example it is important to use GHOST – Gentle Honest Open Specific Talk. It is important to be thorough and deliberate as you explain or have the other explain the rules of the game as you understand them. This is where you take an Appreciative Stance and ACT AS IF the encounter will result in a mutually beneficial outcome. The more you know about AI and how it works the better you get at Prepare. It is here that relational well being comes into play.
In Uncover it is important to listen deeply – with HEART – Hush, Empathize (feel their pain or joy), Attend, Reflect and Trust. Passive listening without judgement or bias, allowing the past to surface and sometimes change in the telling of the story with a different audience and allowing the shared title of the story to emerge. Emotional well being is important here.
In Learn it is important to prove that you are listening with POWER – Paraphrase, Open questions, WAIT, Empathize (name their pain or joy) and Reframe. Social selves emerge as do rules for future encounters and redefining of past encounters as Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns and Hopes are shared, acknowledged and understood. Relational well being is again at play here.
In Search it is important to focus on creativity and possibilities and the future. Patience is key as ideas are generated later to be vetted against the criteria of the BEACHs. Intellectual well being can make a difference here.
In Explain the other side of the brain, the analytical side is asked to perform as the details of the plan emerge and are tested to determine their sustainability. Again intellectual well being makes a difference.
Each stage requires levels of intellectual, emotional, relational, physical and spiritual well-being. More about that later.
Today was about remembering PULSE and the power of social exchanges. It was about expanding that thinking to include not just conversation but any human social interaction that contributes to us knowing who we really are, or re-membering ourselves as part of a greater whole.
Remembering PULSE and RE-membering PULSE.
We are working on getting you back into the habit of PULSE. Watch for a Newsletter next week and notice the changes on the website and join again if you can. Making it membership based has been the plan for a year or two now and we are closer today.
Adding value for our members and adding to the list of those of you who read and learn is the PULSE 2.0 Purpose, to give you the courage to make a change and the confidence to make a difference. The Process is to generate Products and Opportunities that help you gain the courage and the confidence you need to have successful social exchanges, when and where you need it. The Protocol remains a gentle, honest, open, specific, talk approach, using PULSE to teach PULSE. The People are PULSE professionals past, present and future with a shared desire to create the best social exchanges and build social capital for brighter futures.
Thanks for the member – ies. (smile)
Nancy Love's Weblog 