Nancy Love’s Weblog

I still would like to write a book about vicarious responsibility   Leaders are responsible for the work of their followers and yet experience that work vicarious. That becomes evident to me again and again as I work with groups of people who believe they know what is going on in their team because of what the team members are reporting.  The problem is that the languages might be different or the messages are interpreted differently and so there is a break down in understanding between what the employee reports and what the leader hears.  Part of that is because we hear what we are listening for and part is because employees often adjust their message to met the expectations of the leader.

A great leader knows many languages – past, present and future – and can interpret the messages in a variety of ways always checking for understanding.  That is important when you have vicarious responsibility. Interviewing for understanding when you are vicarious responsible for the actions of your team members is vital.  The questions need to be focused and direct and asked in the right dialect to insure a true read of the situation.  then as a leader you are expected to filter and package that message for your own leaders … See what I mean… there is a book in there somewhere.

Last week I had the opportunity to attend a session lead by Karen Dawson. the session left an impression with me that I still carry days later. That’s a good thing. I am still thinking about the things that Karen did and said to keep me in this state of wonder. One of the many insights she shared was that turning managers into leaders was tricky business. good leaders make us feel special. Think of a leader you admire in your life. How do you feel in his or her presence? How can you make others feel that way in your presence? That is the essence of leadership development. Karen says that you can increase the likelihood that someone will feel special in your presence by rehearsing your response to them. You cannot change how they feel but you can increase the likelihood that they will feel good by rehearsing and getting feedback on what it takes. Karen’s theatrical background influences her approach to leadership development. In theatre you rehearse and then you perform and then you rehearse and then you perform. Each performance is different and what makes it different is often the audience. What you do for one audience to engage them in the performance is not always what it takes to engage the next audience so adjust and adapt to give each audience what they need. So leaders need to rehearse and perform in the same kind of cycle to get better at building rapport and thereby increase the likelihood that people will feel special in their presence.

So that is what PULSE conversations do… they increase the likelihood of managers becoming leaders. PULSE Conversations are especially structured and deliberately set up to have everyone in the conversation feel heard and valued so that they can own the outcome. The combination of Appreciative Theory and mediation skills and an understanding of the sociology of the enneagram is the right recipe for successful conversations where everyone feels special. A leader using this structure can make each of their followers feel special and can secure their status as leader and not just manager.

There is a lot of literature on the differences between the two sets of skills – leadership and management. Managing the operation, the processes of the work and leading the people who are doing the work are elements of the positions we give to people in charge. Both are essential and both benefit from the relationship building built into the PULSE. If you Prepare for the conversation deliberately and you Uncover the past contributions, Learn the present priorities, Search the future possibilities and then Explain a mutually agreeable plan of action then people feel valued, appreciated, trusted, challenged, supported and special in your presence.

I love my new job except for the MUDA.  You say it like BUDDHA with a MMMM.  It is the stuff that corporations create for you to do that does not add value.  It is not meeting a client need or the corporation needs and yet it takes up our time.  Chris McGoff explains that when a big change is needed most people say they don’t have the time or the money but if they focus their attention on the change and away from the MUDA they can find the time to do the value added things that result in the implementation of the change.

What do you do that isn’t adding value or meeting a need in your business?

I think I will keep a MUDA journal for a couple of days and see what I can learn about the ACTIVITIES I am involved in on a daily basis.

My new favourite leadership writer is obviously Chris McGoff of “The Primes”. I may have to try a more direct approach to have him contact me so that he and I can talk about what we both believe to be true about leadership and how it works. chris is a change manager and I think change managers should stick together.

I do hope I get a chance to talk to or correspond with Mr McGoff. Maybe i should call him.

This week at the Change Management Think Tank in Calgary we talked about the Profession of Change Management and the state of it in Calgary in particular. some very interesting insights from those in the room about how the discipline is evolving and defining itself within project management as the people side of the people/ask coin. I agree and I agree that the skills and services offered by change managers are VALUABLE. It is now time for the CM’s of the world to show how improving conversations and relationship improves the bottom line. That is the next challenge

I was supposed to be heading to London – England – today for the International Coaches Federation convention. I attended last year in Las Vegas and it was very interesting. I was excited by the possibility of the visit but with a full time job like I have right now I just couldn’t make it work. There are some exciting and innovated sessions planned and the wonder of this electronic world makes it possible to attend those virtually. Of course it is the middle of the night here so it won’t interfere with my working hours so on Monday and Tuesday I will definitely be listening in. Could be fun. Check it our out on the ICF website.

Why are we so bad at change? We seem to get the procedural part but we can’t seem to manage the interpersonal part. somehow we have forgotten the power of the comfort zone and the inertia that keeps people there. This morning I listened to George Ayee talk about the kinds of resistance he has heard around change. “I don’t get this” – the intellectual resistance; “I don’t like this” – the emotional resistance and “I don’t like YOU” – the personal trust issue. I would add “I don’t need this” – the physical more immediate response.

For me it is easy to identify the past present future orientation in these resistant statements and then it becomes easier to create a plan of action or a response in each of three instances. For those who live in the past it is SOOOO important to acknowledge past contribution. If you don’t do that the resistance will become entrenched and the project is doomed. So for those who don’t like the change an exploration of what they like about the past and want to keep moving forward is crucial. Once those appropriate pieces of past can be identified and incorporated in to the plan for the future you have met the objections of the past oriented people.

The present oriented people will come on board when everything is settled and in place. until then they will operate as they have. They don’t need to hear about future plans. They just need to know what to do today. “I don’t need this” means I am doing my job right now. Once the job description has changed I will do that one too. Just tell me what to do.

The future oriented people are all over change except when they don’t understand the why. For them the intellectual reasoning needs to be clear to allow them to freedom to move forward.

Change managers really need to be aware of where the people are. In every change conversation elements of past, present and future orientation are key. So be prepared to describe the change from five years out as a thing of the past for past oriented employees. Be prepared to explain it as if it has already happened, as if it is present and operational for the present oriented people and also be prepared to describe the result (the why), the contrast between the now and a future then for the future oriented people…. and be prepared to watch people shift perspective as they SEE, HEAR or SENSE someone recognizing and addressing their concerns effectively – in their own language.

This is a cool video that does a good job of explaining coaching. The ICF conference in London is going to do a flash Mob on it….. Wish I could be there.

“Coaching taking to the streets? Have you ever considered what could happened if coaches would randomly challenged and inspire people on the streets?
Well, Shivani has and here is a video with it:

What is more, coaches from 56 countries will have the chance for some flash mob coaching at the streets of London this October!
What do you think would be the impact of it?”