Nancy Love’s Weblog

Tuesday is TRUST day. Trust that others are doing the best they can with what they know. Everybody does. And be TRUSTworthy = Transparent, Respectful, Understanding, Supportive ane Trusting.

TRUST The RISK yoU Should Take

https://a.co/d/hObrR3E

Good Morning

It’s Tuesday. I love Tuesdays. Tuesdays have always been days of connection for me. My friends and I regularly have dinner together on Tuesday. Tuesday is a great day to start a weekly friends’ ritual. It is important to have a weekly opportunity to strengthen relationships with people you know well or want to know better. This becomes a place where worries are shared and halved, where triumphs become celebrations. Take the RISK.

If you live on this planet, you are aware of the shifts in weather that can change a good day into a bad day. The same kinds of shifts can happen in relationships and even in conversations, some so severe that they create irreparable damage.

Learning the tools for generating good conversations and fair weather in life are availabe in my new book, THE RISK YOU SHOULD TAKE. It’s now available on Amazon as a Kindle download, a paperback, or a hardcover.

Move any perception of threat to one of trust in just five easy steps.

Bad Communication is at the HEART of all conflict, all upset and all misunderstanding.

Here is an acronym that you can use to avoid or fight the CRIME of bad communication.

Confront- Name the elephant, the thing that no one wants to talk about.

Resolve- Create a future focus where you can see a world without this situation.

Intervene- Step in with curiousity not accusation.

Manage- Ask good questions about the past, present and future of the situation.

Explore- Look at and seriously consider the impact of different outcomes.

Use CRIME to fight the CRIME of bad communication. Stay tuned for more hints for Mapping the Space and Wayfinding in conversations and relationships.

I am 72. This will be my 72nd Christmas. WOW. When I first heard that phrase, I was very young, in my 20’s, teaching, raising kids in a constant state of busyness, helping others, mostly children at the time, whenever and wherever I could. Breathing room and thinking and planning happened a day at a time. If I were lucky, then I could maybe look ahead a week or a month, marking occasions that needed preparation and chunks of time. I had no life path or a firm grip on what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was a human doing, not a human being. Life was a glorious rush from one day to another. I was taking it as it came, doing the best I could with what I knew. Life was full. Joyful some days and tragic others.

Putting one foot in front of the other was working for me. When I heard the line about the first day of the rest of your life, it slowed me down and helped me think about the future and not just the present. What did I want to happen? How could I get there? I loved teaching and coaching, and I still do. Where I found joy was in writing. I could teach and coach and not even be there. Writing would allow me to spread the word so that I could share any wisdom I had gained. I started journaling, teaching myself through the written word. The patterns that emerged from daily entries allowed me to consider options. Journaling is gift-giving to yourself. I hope you try it. It has added focus to my life for sure, and it may do the same for you.

Now I find myself here on Tibbs Eve, the Newfoundland day to enjoy friends before the family events of the next few days, realizing that I have fewer DAYS where I might begin again ahead of me than I have behind me. Remember that words are your friends. Use them over the next few days to remind people how important they are to you whenever you can. I am writing to you, my friends, to let you know how important you are to me, to wish you a Merry Christmas and to thank you for reading Love Notes.

Happy Tibbs Eve. And remember: Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life.

Hey, everyone.

Follow me here for my next adventure. Love Notes is my page on facebook where I’ll be sharing my love of writing, excerpts from my books, and helpful tips for managing relationships at home and at work.

The new book, The RISK You Should Take, is out and available on Amazon in 3 formats. https://a.co/d/hObrR3E

More information to follow. Hope you enjoy this holiday season with friends and family.

Dr. Nancy Love

October 2025

It seems over the years, there is a certain ebb and flow to my blog writing. I apologize for that and would like to express my great appreciation to those of you who have stayed connected. It is time to start again.

I have been writing for the past couple of years. The new book is called RISK: Relational Intelligence, Skills and Know-how. It is being published on Amazon’s Kindle, and I will let you know when it comes out. The intended audience is leaders in small businesses, but it is just as easy to apply the content to mediators or leadership in any larger organization as well. It focuses on how to structure conversations for change, a favourite topic of mine.

As the title implies, Relational Intelligence is the topic at hand. I like the idea of helping people improve their social skills and their relational intelligence quotient. This book also includes all of the PULSE acronyms that followers are no doubt familiar with and focuses on the underlying skills that give the PULSE frame its strength. Gentle Honest Open Specific Talk or the GHOST protocol is examined in detail, as are Hush, Empathize, Attend, Reflect and Trust or HEART, Paraphrase, Open Questions, WAIT, Empathize and Reframe, the POWER skill set.

Relational Intelligence for me is based on Appreciative Inquiry, Psychological Safety, Positive Psychology, the Enneagram, Neurosciences and in particular Neuro Linguistics or the use of language. After all, PULSE stands for People Using Language Skills Effectively. The PULSE Frame invites us to structure our conversations. It is a discovery, not an invention. It mirrors how good conversations proceed. Prepare for the conversation by outlining the purpose, the process and the protocol. Uncover the circumstance or the title of the conversation. Learn the significance of the topic to discover the criteria for a better future. Search the possibilities for a conclusion that benefits everyone. Explain a plan of action moving forward. Once you become familiar with this PULSE approach to conversations, you find yourself using it everywhere. Difficult conversations become easier. Relationships can be strengthened, rapport and Trust built, key elements that improve RIQ.

Starting again is not exactly what is happening. PULSE has always been a journey. Just wanted to let you know that the journey is not over yet.

Take care.

It’s January 20, 2024. In my 71st year, my life is good. I look back on things that have happened with a different perspective, and I find that there are opportunities not taken that might have changed the course. I have met with the communications departments of large national companies and went ill-prepared for the meeting, not interested in the gig. I have joined golf clubs and country clubs and have not taken full advantage of the schmoozing opportunities to find interesting and lucrative work. I have followed my instincts and I have ended up in a great place with no regrets. Introspection is good but when you are out of the industry and enjoying retirement, it can be humbling. My accomplishments are modest. I hope that I have made a difference in some people’s lives and that I can continue to do that in this next phase through writing and blogging and creating online learning experiences, and videos that will last forever. This week I sent the final content pages on Relational Intelligence, Skills, and Knowledge to Andrew, at At the HELM. Now I wait. I remind myself that it’s a draft. That is written on my whiteboard. “It’s just a draft.” It took six weeks to go through the library of my life’s work, to sort out the pieces that would fit, to write the pieces that were more suited to a nautical theme and to let go of the draft. Intellectually and emotionally the experience could have been draining and at times I think it was. Mostly it was humbling. To review ALL the I have written in that way lets you see your contribution. I am not finished. I am excited for RISK to find a following. I believe there is a book there and I know that I am in a place where I can review Mapping the Space Between Us and prepare to publish it. That was another missed opportunity. It needs finishing. With a little help, I can meet my new self-imposed deadline … June 2024. Wish me luck and poke me once in a while with a gentle reminder to keep the blazes at it.