Time in Canmore seems to open my mind and my time for writing.  I love it here.

Working with clients this week got me thinking about the skills we us to move people from the Red Zone to the Green Zone.  That really is where the work is.  Shifting requires Matching and then moving.  It is strategic.  To get their attention you have to be where they are… the same intensity, the same time zone, past, present or future.  Once they are listening you can move to a calmer more focused conversation, one that meets your purpose.  It is tricky business though.  You can’t stay too long where they are or they will entrench.  It is kind of like fly fishing I think.  You PLAY with them and reel or ‘real’ them in.

Mediating is also about USING the forces toward harmony.  In 90 minutes things change because people get tired or the fight.  As a mediator you train for this to increase your stamina.  Parties have a chance to vent over the time of the conversation and they begin to feel the relief of catharsis, Mediators still have to be patient.  There may be more arrows in their quiver.  Knowing and recognizing when the quiver is empty is a skill you develop with time and practice.  When one says “We could try this….” and they naturally begin to brainstorm options for resolution is a sure sign that the quiver is empty and they are satisfied with the understanding that has been built.

PS… I am speaking at a Canadian Enneagram Conference in February from the 20th to the 23rd

http://www.livingtheenneagram.com/#  It’s in Victoria.

Here is the description….

In her presentation, The Space Between Us, Dr. Nancy Love proposes a sociological construct based on the Enneagram for dealing with others in any social setting.  The Enneagram provides us with a path to understanding how we respond to our world.  It teaches us valuable information about how we respond to each other in relationship on a daily basis.  Each encounter, each conversation benefits from the application of this sacred knowledge.  It begins as we become observers of what happens in the space between people.  Close observation and deliberate response on our part can help us develop a deeper understanding and appreciation of the space between us so that we can improve, predict and perhaps even manipulate (read “change”) the responses of others in order to create shared, mutually beneficial futures together.

As a coach, a mediator in high conflict situations, a teacher and a human in relationship, Dr. Love has learned to look for the patterns in group behaviour. She has begun to see the Enneagram points as sets of Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns and Hopes.  They each have an identifiable perspective on the world and a shared culture which she has described using the sociological tradition of ethnography.  As a sociologist she has identified the distinctions between the nine points, the subtleties of changes in language and dialect, the influences of other ‘cultures’ or perspectives and the distinctive world view of each.

In this presentation you will begin to see the personality types as cultures and experience how that can free you to identify patterns in the space between you and the other. Then Dr. Love will share a simple construct for identifying and using the patterns to manage conversations and relationships in your everyday lives.

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