Paraphrase, Open Questions, WAIT, Empathize and Reframe can be used in the order they are presented here to great effect.  When you are first learning to use them it might be the best way to begin.  They can also be used in different combinations and permutations for specific situations.  If for instance you want to know more about what you have heard, you could use POW.  Paraphrase what you know so far. Ask and Open question about it and then Wait.  If you have been surprised by what you have heard you might Wait, ask an Open question and then Wait again. WOW!.  If you want to establish your own credibility and appear professional in your approach you might use PRO.  First Paraphrase what you know so far and then Reframe to the positive and ask a follow up Open question.  If you want to cut through rough waters you might add Wait to you PRO to get PROW like the prow of a ship.

If you detect an emergency of some kind in the conversation, then using the tools for Empathizing and Reframing can revitalize the conversation and stabilize its condition, like a trip to the ER.  If you are back in the fast waters and need to travel up stream you might ROW.  Reframe to generate energy, ask and Open question to get the participants on side and Wait, using silence to power the journey.  If you feel that a do over is what is called for then you could use a Reframe followed by Empathizing to Restart.  I you want to delve deeper into the past then use WERE. Wait, Empathize, Reframe and then Empathize again.  If you want to find out more about the present situation then use PRE.  Paraphrase what you have heard, Reframe to the positive AND Empathize the changing emotional state.  When things don’t smell very good you can use PEW.  Paraphrase, Empathize and then Wait for the air to clear.

I could go on but by now you can probably see what I mean.  The POWER set of tools has interchangeable parts.  They can be rearranged to meet the situation at hand.  You can even use it in reverse when necessary.  Reframing, Empathizing, Waiting, Open Questions, and Paraphrasing for clarity or as a summary at or near the end of a conversation.

The POWER of PULSE is in the listening.  The HEART of PULSE is also in listening.  It is an integral part of the skill and the process that makes PULSE conversations work.  HEART is the neural address for another set of tools: Hush, Empathise, Attend, Reflect and Trust.  More on those in another ebook.

Advertisements