Freedom to choose liberates power.  I have always believed that.  When I can choose what I want to do I am much more likely to feel responsible and accountable.  I raised my children with choice and consequences and now that is how I treat myself.

Today I have NOTHING on the agenda.  I can do whatever I want today.  I can go whereever I want to go. I can contact people and maybe connect if schedules permit or I can stay here at the lake with the blue sky and the song birds.  

I can work on my book.  It is a possiblity and yet I hesitate.

My book is sitting patiently on the dining room table about three metres from here.  I could just get up and go sit in front of that book and start editing.  I have that power to choose and the time to dedicate to the project that has kept me busy for more than five years now.  It is so close to completed.  

I have felt that before, that feeling of being close to finished and then the target moves and there is more to do.  I am concerned by this overwhelming dread that once I sit down to finish the edits to chapter two and seven and once I do one more read and edit through that some other issues will arise and the impending completion will once again escape from my grasp.

Fear of competion or NOT.  Fear of SUCCESS of not.  Either way it is not going to finish itself.  Steps forward and back are part of the process.  I know that.  I also know that even though I have published other books this one is different.  This one is important.  I want it to be perfect.

Choosing not to work on it today doesn’t feel like an option I can comfotably accept repsonsibility for either.  I have the power to choose.  I can avoid or I can approach.  Noone is forcing me.  The consequences are clear though.  I work on it and move it closer to completion or I don’t and feel frustrated for longer.

 Is it time?  Have I been away from it long enough to have the perspective I need to make the necessary edits?  I don’t know.  

All the books on writing say ‘JUST SHOW UP TO THE PAGE’ so here I go … jumping into the deep end of the pool….hoping I still know how to swim.

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