For the last two days I have been helping my husband as he recovers from minor surgery. ( if there is such a thing). It is interesting how your instincts take over when you are asked to look after someone else. Your experience with related situations all comes back and you go into nurse mode. It is kind of like riding a bike. I found myself just KNOWING what to do.

I am no stranger to pain myself and know the worst thing that others do for me is try to help me move from one position to another. So I hover and wait to catch or assist but only when called upon. No one can know what the patient is experiencing until a request is made.

It is the same in conversations. Especially in mediation , people are in pain. it is so important to hover rather than to assist at first and then to assist only when the request is made. As mediators we often try to HEAL them rather than let them find the position that is most comfortable for them to rest while they heal themselves. You are there to set the structure and guide the process but any pushing or prodding is likely to inflict more pain than it relieves.

Each situation we encounter has a lesson…. learn it.